Ok, this is a little off for me to do, but I am a bit vulnerable at this time. In every man (woman's) life, there is a time when one needs to find out who they are...truthfully. I am now at that time...again. I usually don't learn it the first time, or maybe as we grow older, we become different people. One thing I have found myself doing is admiring other people, their hobbies, talents, abilities and selves. In the process of doing that, I also find myself wanting to be like other people. That is not always satisfying, in fact rarely do I ever find pure joy in trying to be like other people. It makes me be less of me...duh! I do like to be different, or the odd ball if you will. So why would this be a challenge or weakness for me? I often pride myself in be the different one, at the same time not being different to fit in or feel worthy, that part I am not so sure about.
I am on a journey...I do love to travel. So really this should be fun for me. I am sure you all could care less about my personal journey, but I am woman, I need to talk and let it off my chest. This is my therapy for the day. (By the way, thank you Alicia for your therapy session...I'll pay you later) Who am I? That is the question I am trying to answer. The best way I know how to do that is to look at who I was as a kid. Of course my philosophy on life has dramatically changed as well as my outlook, but really, when are we the most honest with ourselves...when we are children. I won't bore you with all of my thoughts and personal revelations (my mind can be rather confusing, even for me) but I will share with you the process at which I plan to approach my journey. As with every trip I take, there must be a process of preparation, planning the destination, the how I intend on arriving at the destination. My destination is internal happiness and joy in just being ME, who I really am. I'm not quite sure of how I will get there, but a lot of praying is definitely going to be involved. I also know that in order to get to know me, as I mentioned before, I am going to look at (as corny as this may sound) my inner child. I am also going to look at what I am passionate about in life. Why do anything if you are not passionate about it, you will definitely have the endurance to maintain your goals if there is passion behind it. Ok, enough babble, thank you for enduring this post if you made it through. As much as I hate to admit my weakness, or the fact that I have them, this was therapeutic. This is my tribute to Being True to Yourself, I have not been and now is the time to start.
7 comments:
Way to go Paula, I love this post and there is nothing wrong with having weaknesses. I think we are all supposed to have weaknesses so we can be humble, meek and submissive as Heavenly Father wants us to be to show our love for him. Good for you for wanting to find your passions in life. Happy Journeys!
You sure know how to make me think. You are great and wonderful, and you will find joy in the journey of figuring that all out. Don't see it as a weakness...look at it as always improving. You are awesome!
Great post. I loved the honesty and the "voice" behind it. Good for you for setting out to find the "real" you and what really makes you happy. I hope you'll do more posts along the way. I'll look forward to them!
Paula, I liked your post, your honesty. As you know that has been part of my problem the past 3-4 years. I was always the Mom and just did the Mom thing and when that changed I didn't know how to handle it and everything started to pile on. I am way older than you and I'm trying to find my place in this old world. Transition is always a tough time for many people and yet when we moved, we just moved and made the transition. It was hard on some of you and not so hard on others. You do need to just be you, do those things which make you happy, comparing to others will NOT make you happy. Guarantee!
Being true to yourself is very important to understanding who you are. Being important isn't about being liked by everyone it's about being loved and appreciated by those that matter. Kya and I love and appreciate you for who you are, always. And we would love to help you with this journey.
Your Loving Husband
This is how I feel most the time. Like I need to find myself. It's a long process for sure. I think you are a pretty great person, and you've always been an incredible friend to me.
Have a great "Trip"
I've been at the "finding out who I am point" several times. Just when I think I know who I am something changes. With change comes growth and with growth comes change. I feel we are always rediscovering who we are. What you said about the inner child reminded me of something from a women's conference in our stake. It was the one where they had a counselor come and speak. She said to remember one thing you liked to do as a child and to do it as an adult weither it be "running through the sprinklers",or art, or laughing more, etc. I think we are always changing and redescovering ourselves. I admire your prayerful approach to your quest. Thanks for the post!
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